Ghetto Wash

My husband comes from a long line of riggers. His Grandpa built a spaceship out of iron scraps, his Dad could fix anything without spending a dime as long as he had enough tie wire and duct tape, and Dane has been able to go into the garage return in about three seconds ready to fix anything I need him to. Although this trait seems to be so wonderful it has it's ups and downs. For the last year I have had scrappiest dishwasher known to man. It even got nick-named "THE GHETTO DISHWASHER". It all started when we moved into the house and my kids threw away the utensil holder (rig job number one)but Dane rigged up something that worked just fine. Then the door broke (rig job number two). This was the worst! Dane wasn't home when this blessed event took place, so I panicked then I thought to myself, "what would the Patterson Men do?" Then I ran as fast as I could to the garage in pursuit of the duct tape, but when a dishwasher is spraying water all over your kitchen duct tape doesn't hold it shut so well. That's when Dane started using the Clamp. It has worked perfectly while being the biggest eye sore at the same time. Today however has been a day that will live in infamy for our family! The dishwasher blew up and Dad can't fix it! I loaded the dishwasher, started it up and black,smelly smoke filled our kitchen. I tried to shut it off but it wouldn't stop working!(rig job number three)After the door broke the handle fell off so Dane of course rigged the dishwasher so that we could still turn it on. (We are so white trash).Anyways we finally fixed the problem. Welcome Maytag dishwasher to your new home. We promise that we will use you to the fullest,and even when you areyou are dying we won't let you forget your purpose in life. We went to home depot today and got an amazing deal on this dishwasher plus an extra 10% percent off, and another $30 off for a scratch I couldn't even see! R.I.P Ghetto dishwasher!
Little clamp let me brief you on your next assignment: